AADC2 and my major regret

I’ve just finished watching Ada Apa Dengan Cinta 2. As a big fan of the first movie, I was really looking forward to watch this. To be honest, it didn’t really live up to my expectations. Or maybe my expectation is a tad too high, based on the lovely first movie. Or maybe I’m just not in the right mood to watch a romance movie. Take your pick. Heh.

I’m disappointed with Rangga’s reason for breaking up with Cinta, it was rather weak, more like an excuse than a real problem. Or lazy writing. That being said, it is still an enjoyable movie, making me want to drop everything and fly to Jogja. Hehe.

At the end of the movie, following a near-death experience, Cinta decided to live without regret; the regret being living a life without Rangga. I’m getting Oh Hae-young Again flashback when watching that scene. It was a recent hit drama with a similar theme(as the AADC2 ending scene, not the whole movie); to live without regret even though the outcome will still be the same-death- the circumstances leading to the death will be different when you have the loved one by your side instead of dying alone.

All these years, I’ve thought I’ve been living without any major regret-well, small regrets such as studied harder or spending more on fashion were inevitable though haha. I was totally wrong. 

My major regret in life is by refusing to let myself to be happy years ago, to let everything go, to not hung up on the obsession. I regret wasting my precious youth on the obsession, on the delusion, on the sadness, on trapping my heart in a rusty, unlocked cage, a cage with an open door.

Till this day, bitterness still occupied a small space in my heart. No matter how much I tried to change my circumstances, I am still running around in a loop, like a carousel. The only difference is the carousel is getting bigger. And slower.

To reach the same spot takes a longer ride.

It is getting better I guess, right?

Anna Karerina: A quarter into and a rant

Disclaimer: This is not a book review. I’m just sharing my rants experiences, feelings and thoughts on the characters and their actions. I’m a dentist. I don’t analyze books.

Good, was my first impression on the book. As far as I can remember, this one of the few books that can draw me into its world, watching scenes unfolding, conversations being spoken and characters animating inside my head. Imagining every single thing, the expressions, the gestures and the picturesque winter and spring in Russia.

For the record, I’ve already knew the plot beforehand. But I’m still reading it because, why not? Reading is a way of understanding(or not) without actually experiencing the events. Of course, being and living the moment is the best but you don’t want a cheating spouse aren’t you?

Anna is an insufferable idiot.

That’s it.

I’m a conservative. And I try my best to adhere to my faith, my religion. And proud to be one. As proud as a liberalist being a liberal. An atheist embracing atheism. I strongly against adultery. Not only from a conservative and religion point of view, but also as a mere human being, as a woman.

Feelings are unique. Love especially. We can’t choose to fall in love. It is similar to death. We don’t know who and when. We just fall in love and die. But as a human, we were given a talent called choosing, to choose how to act upon the discovered feelings. To choose to live honourably and die as one.

Anna was experiencing love for maybe the first time in her life. I do believe she loved her husband, Karenin, but it’s a platonic kind of love, out of respect for her husband, as a father of her son. Not the heart thumping, world spinning, butterflies flying, fire burning, intoxicating you should see a doctor kind of love, as she did with I hate you Vronsky.

It’s not a sin to fall in love. A sin depends on how you act upon the feeling. Anna chose to follow her heart, consumed with passion, blinded by love and… cheated on her husband. Her refusal, faking nonchalance and ignoring Karenin when he tried to talk about her and Vronsky led to her own decadence.

As a retired relationship amateur, I believe communication and honesty are the fundamental, the basics of relationships. Anna was a strong woman. If she weren’t, she wouldn’t dare to have an affair at the first place. She went against the social norm during her time. However, she failed to be honest to her husband, to leave him and her son, to ask for divorce(she would later on). It’s like eating in a diner, eat first, pay later(bad analogy I know, but who cares?).

I understand, making decision to split is hard. But she’s having an affair anyway. It doesn’t make sense. Anyone, either a man or a woman, whether married or in a relationship, cheating is an utterly atrocious unforgivable disgusting behaviour. If it involves sex, it’s another level disgusting. Personally, I think if you found somebody else you love apart from your spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend, and you think you can’t live without that someone new, physically and emotionally, let your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend go. (Karenin refused to divorce later but that’s a different issue).

But of course, without Anna and adultery, this book won’t be Anna Karenina at the first place. There are many other themes and messages in the novel but I’m not going to touch on those. Maybe next time. Maybe. Or maybe not.

To be honest, I’m having a hard time now. Yesterday, I spent 10 minutes staring at the book, contemplating whether to continue reading or not. The book is good, no doubt. But I can’t stand reading Anna’s part. The only thing that kept my interest with the book is Levin.

On the other hand, I’m cheering for Levin, the Konstantin not his brother. Sigh. I’m a sucker for unrequited love stories.