17th June 2017

I got a job. Finally.

I’m working in a coastal town in East Malaysia. Resuming life as an anak dagang after approximately 7 and half months. Far away from my family.

I had an argument with Mak when I chose to work in this state. I know she is worried because;

1) like all mothers in the world, she’s worried the daughter is staying far away,

2) and the said daughter is moving out AGAIN after studying abroad for 6 years (plus 2 years in prep college+2 years in boarding school)

3) the daughter is still unmarried, so chances are, she has to remain there for an unknown period of time unless she resigned,

4) she really hoped I will settle down in my hometown, which I definitely will, but don’t know when.

I do feel guilty for making her worried. I have always been since I called her, crying and confessing I skipped Dental Material exam some 7 years ago. I have always feel like I’m a failure, the black sheep in the family.

Now I’m adjusting to working life and this city. So far, it’s good. 

I’m hoping this new life in this new place will bring a new meaning for myself.