Crap

Warning: Whining and self-pity mode ahead. Mild to moderate (offensive) words may be observed.

I feel useless today. Like a piece of shit. No. That’s insulting to shits. Even shits serves their reasons of existance; to be used in investigations of diseases, lump of waste to be expelled to not harming the body. Yes, bringing no harm is also a purpose.

I can’t helped but to feel anxious about my future. The uncertainty is biting and chewing me bit by bit.

Dear uncertainty, delicious isn’t it? My confidence?

The gloomy economic wheather looming over the country didn’t help either. All of my friends haven’t even get the call for interview, let alone the job.

The problem is we can’t practice if we didn’t get the license. And to get the license, we have to work for a year in public sector. And to work, we have to get the job. And to get the job, we have to get the offer. And to get the offer, we have to pass the interview. And to pass the interview, we have to be interviewed. And to be interviewed, we have to get the call for interview.

It’s a chain.

All of my friends are still waiting for the call. Some have been waiting for over 6 months.

I’ll be almost 30 when I start working later.

Sigh.

If only that bloody auto driver didn’t raise his voice for mere 5 rupees.

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Shut your trap!

A friend revealed spoiler from my favourite drama, which I haven’t watch because the subtitles have not yet out.

It’s totally effing annoying and I’m effing mad. She ruined my night. Thanks. That’s totally rude of you. Especially your half-assed apology. (Update: She had apologized properly today)

Sure for many, it was just a drama.

For me it is the tiny bit fun that I can enjoy in my otherwise redundant life. It is not a mere drama.

It is my form of escapism.

Beggars

I finally found an apartment to stay for the last 6 months here. It was a small room with an attached bathroom and a small kitchen. It was actually a 3-bedroom flat but due to the really weird floor plan(this building is apparently the oldest apartment ever built in the city), the landlord decided to convert it into 2 separate units. The smaller unit is mine and the bigger kitchen, hall and 2 bedroom will be rented by a family.

I told Mak how vast the differences are between my current apartment and that flat. I am basically moving from the poshest apartment in the area to a small, poorly lit room (natural lighting is at the minimum-have to switch on the lamp during the day). And the window freaking opens into the corridor where people can actually see inside the room.

I have to buy a very thick curtain.

And I will never open that window.

But the plus point is that I am going to stay alone! I can do whatever I want with my “sacred” kitchen haha. Under my current financial status, the rent is the cheapest among all the available rooms(other available rooms came with a housemate though which, NO).

The main thing that bothers me about the flat is the window-it sucks. Big time. Major failure. Questionable architect qualification. I’m very fond of large open windows and lots of natural lighting like my current room.

But as the saying goes, beggars can’t be choosers.

On the first day of 2016

I discovered that I’m not fit to be a Paedodontist. My impatient streaks explodes everytime I’m dealing with kids. I lose my patience easily with kids. (I don’t shout or raise my voice, basically I just give up on them, I just stop trying)

So, it’s better for me to stay far away from kids rather than being that one “evil dentist”.