How selfie saves my dear life

I love taking selfie. Not a solo selfie though, usually with two or more of my friends. I was even dubbed as Selfie Queen by my friends due to my ability to squeeze everyone in the frame and a stable hand to take wefie selfie. But to be fair to myself and my own reputation (haha), I very rarely uploaded those selfies on social medias, only on special ocassions.

Prostho posting will end in a few days so we decided to throw the end-posting party today. Party is a tad too strong word actually-HA. More like a small gathering with some foods with the staffs, nurses, receptionists, technicians and postgrad seniors.

It was our first time having an end-posting party. It is a tradition among the interns in this college whenever they are finishing the posting in each departments. We (more like ‘they’ actually because I’m a senior and I’m a lazy senior hehe) bought some snacks, chips, a cake and soft drinks.

They served the foods on the plate, poured the drinks and arranged them on the table. We took a few photos before calling all the staffs. Apparently we are supposed to call in the teachers first before anyone else. The teachers from Light House were unable to join us because they are busy attending patients.

So my friend-Miss J- went to call them. Then, she came into the room and said, “Dr U is busy scolding the third years, he’ll come later.”  Not long after that, Dr T and Dr M came into the room and along with five of us-the interns- stood around the table. The table is near the door. The room itself is not big, maybe around 10 by 10.

The situation suddenly turned vvvvvvvveeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyy damn awkward. And I don’t know what the hell happened, the girls, one by one suddenly went out of the room-maybe trying to call the nurses. And then, there was me and Miss J left standing in the room with the teachers.

While my head was still trying to processed what just happened and how to carry out the situation so it won’t nosedive into worse than awkward territory, Miss J suddenly went out and left me alone with the teachers! 

My brain freezed and went, WHATTTT????????

QUICK! BRAIN! FREAKING THINK SOMETHING!

“Sir, let’s take selfie,” while flashing my sweetest and cutest smile. Dr T and Dr M as usual, are so cool and we took a selfie together. A few seconds later, the girls came back into the room. All these happened in less than 30 seconds.

Oh, God! I can die from the awkwardness.

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The side effect of being older

Life is good. A bit boring sometimes when there is no case in the clinic (which covers most of the time) but overall is quite good. Not great. Just good.

I’ve became a morning person. I’ve always been a morning person but not THIS kind of morning person. I woke up between 5.30 to 6 am (since the last 3 4 days or so I woke up even earlier around 4.50 am). I make a habit of not sleeping again after waking up unlike during my student days.

Maybe it is hormonal, or a side effect of being older but I find it is actually satisfying to wake up early. There is this feeling or sense of achievement everytime I wake up early in the morning haha.

I really love the chilly morning air passing through when I opened the window in the morning. A whole lot better than the night air.

My friends always asked me what did i do in the morning. It depends on days or my mood. Usually I’ll just watch TV series or anime, or just surfing the net. Sometimes I’ll cook simple meals for lunch (I bring lunch box if I’m posted at Attavar Hospital; I’m a bit frugal nowadays).

At 7 or so, I’ll prepare a simple breakfast, usually 2 slices of toast with honey, fried egg and a mug of coffee with milk. After having breakfast, I’ll take a shower, offered mid-morning prayer and went to work around 8.20am.

The funny thing about being a morning person is that nobody actually really believed that I’m a morning person especially my family and Mak. Well, I wouldn’t blame Mak though; I don’t know why I always woke up late whenever I’m home-even after the suppossed jet leg has long ceased.

Jet lag is always the best excuse culprit.

See food

I went to a favourite local eatery with a friend the other day for lunch. It is a small shop on the third floor of the building, just opposite of our main campus/hospital. Its fresh fried fishes and chicken ghee roast are to die for. Seriously I’m salivating right now. The crunchiness of semolina-coated grouper-like fish, the soft and delicious white flesh is heaven (I don’t know the english name and google doesn’t help either).

Living in a coastal town and one of the country’s major fishing port(and trading port) to boot, there are abundant of sea products sold at a cheaper price. Of course, you have to go to the Fish market to get the good price which I rarely did nowadays due to time constraint. I usually bought from the supermarket which costs a bit more and not really the freshest you can get.

I went to the port once and it’s even cheaper there! But then I need to wake up early in the morning and the port was so crowded with fishermen and fishmongers, so that might be the first and the last time. Or maybe I will go there once again next year with Ayah to show him of what he called “life”. Hehe.

Last year, I discovered the deliciousness of tonguefish. And have you ever seen parrot fish? They are so beautiful I wonder how people can eat them! But on the other hand, I do want to try it once. Parrot fish is rarely available here, I had only seen the fish a few times at the supermarket plus it is quite expensive.

Anyway, my target for my final one year in this country is to try every single type of fishes here including the nasty looking Bombay Duck. Some of them are not available in my hometown, as they were deep-sea fishes. I do regret for not doing this earlier; fishes are quite expensive yunno(compared to poultry) and I am a bit financially-challenged right now haha.

Author’s note: It was Eid and we were at my aunt’s. My parents told them about my seafood fried rice incident a few days earlier. We were a bit sick and tired due to endless stream of guests on the first and second day of Eid. Me and Mak gave up cooking for dinner so, we randomly went to a newly opened restaurant because the usual warung is closed. I ordered seafood fried rice and what I found was shocking four small slices of squid. Four slices. It was not even a whole squid. And at a totally unreasonable price! With the same price, I can get a whole lot better seafood fried rice at another warung. Sigh. Dishonest people are everywhere. Anyway, my cousin’s husband pointed out, “That was totally seafood yunno. See food. See the food.” He was right. Btw, such a long pointless note to justify the tittle, eh?

25

Happy birthday! You are 25 today. And it’s raining outside. Which is good. Because you love rain. Anyway, even though life is pretty much uneventful for the first 20 years (except those bullying bits), you have survived 5 years of dental school, twice major depressions, two years of suicidal thoughts and hallucinations, twice major failure which leads to a year of school extension, 10 years of one-sided love and 5 years of heartbreak during these past 5 years or so.

But fret not! You had learned to ride bicycle when you were six. You had a pretty good childhood friends (even though they turned upon you during later years but that’s okay), you knew how to ride a motorcycle at 12. At 13 you did ortho treatment which later many of people had praised your smile (just last week a nurse at the department had told that you have a nice smile).

At 16, you joined school choir by accident, but it had turned into one of the best moments in your life. The next year, the team competed in national level choir competition after winning the state level. The team did not win but it was truly an amazing experience.Your SPM result turned out quite good, 10 straight As (8A1, 2A2 darn add maths and EST).

During 18, you’ve met the most wonderful group of people and it changed your outlook in life (pretty much you turned a bit meaner but it became handy later in life, so it’s still a good change). Those friends became your bestfriends, the best kind of bestfriends. At 19, you cleared A-level exams with 2A 1B. And at 20, you entered dental school.

It’s a bit downhill since then but hey! Remember! Those hardships and obstacles have moulded you, to be who you are now. You’ve been beat up and battered around by life, but you have survived. You are a survivor! And you’ve passed dental school in First Class (which given your failure records, nobody actually expected that haha). And you had fulfilled your mother’s wish.

Yes, from now on, even in 50 years, you can still wonder why peoples are so pretty and where the hell did they got those clothes and shoes from. Just remember, be grateful for everything. And live well.

Living well does not equate living happily. Living well is experiencing every bad and good things life can offer. Living well is appreciating every single blessings bestowed upon us. Living well is fighting every single obstacles in front of us. Living well is tasting the bitterness and sweetness of life.

Living well is a way to live.

So, Husna, live well 🙂

About friendship

A friend confined to me about her trouble with some of her friend. I did what was appropriate, listening. Well, I did give some opinions but it’s up to her to decide what’s best for herself. At the end of the day, the only thing that matter is you, yourself and your own happiness.

Which got me thinking about my own situation.

I now have reached the level, no, the age would be more precise. I now have reached the age where dramas in a friendship is intolerable anymore-in my own at least, I don’t really mind about others. What’s important to me is to maintain the existing friendships.

I don’t have many friends to begin with, thanks to my introverted genes. But if when a friend suddenly decided to refuse talking or communicating with me, there are three things I would do before deciding that friend worth my time or not anymore.

One, give that friend time. Maybe that person just want to be left alone for some time. I did before, one day I woke up feeling too lazy to talk to anyone, and it continued for quite some time.

Two, asking that person out, say for a coffee, along with few other friends-because it’s awkward if only just the two of us, after not talking for a period of time. If that person didn’t even reply my message, wait for a chance during gathering.

Three, during a gathering, try to talk to that person. And observe if it is that person makes an effort to ask me any question in return.

If yes, it means the friendship can be saved.

If no, it means the end of friendship until that person come and talk to me first.

Maybe my ego stopped me from asking that friend the problem that person had with me. But hey, give me a break. I did try to save the friendship even though those may seem like a lazy effort. The thing is, I’m just too tired to think anymore.

A friendship is a double-sided relationship. If only one-side alone making an effort, it is not a friendship. You need both to make it work.

If a friend wanted to walk out from a friendship, go ahead. If you think I’m not worth talking with anymore, go on. I will never stop you.

We are not kids anymore.

Love and hate whomever you wish.